Friday, 31 May 2013

going out

I wrote this post about a year ago and even added to it more recently meaning to post it but I just haven't been able to yet...   I am still in a way traveling through this place in my life and I think I will to some degree or another for the rest of my life. 


I have to be careful what I wear when I leave the house these days.  Not that I do it all that often but when I do I feel like I have to look as good as I possibly can.  If I know that then I can almost convince myself that all the looks people give me as I walk past them are because they are thinking that they like my top, not that they are wondering why I am limping and what is with the cane and the huge brace on my leg.  I sometimes feel people almost leaning away from me as if I am defective and I feel like screaming at them...  Other people, they kind of just ignore me...  But it's more than that, I don't mind it when people don't care... It is more that I can feel them trying way too hard not to look at me.    Maybe I should wear a shirt:  Don't worry I was only hit by a car, it's not contagious.

Not everyone is like that though... For some people it seems to open something up and they tell me their own story about a knee or hip or whatever. Or they genuinely want to know what is up.  Other people just really don't care and treat me normally.  Some people know.  But most people don't.

The hardest are the ones who think that just because I currently walk with a cane I must be mentally disabled.

I sometimes worry that I worry too much about what I look like...  This is just a season in my life when I am dealing with something hard.  Should I really care what other people think?  Does it matter if people look at me like I am defective?  I know that I'm not, and all the important people do to...  Why does it matter so much?  I know that I have always in a way used my appearance to help me... I don't mean that in a weird way, just that when I feel down I wear something that makes me feel happy or when I am scared, or nervous, or excited, about a situation I am going into I tend to spend way too much time on my outfit...  I know that most people work that way but for some reason it freaks me out a little bit that I worry so much about what all these random people think of me.

I know that part of it is that I like to look my best and I feel like I can't do that right now so I am compensating but it is still hard.

I think that I am using my appearance as a shield right now both for the people around me and for myself... If I can keep myself busy enough then I don't think too much... Because if I think too much then everything becomes too much for me.

I am using it to tell everyone around me that I am fine, even when I am not.


When I wrote this post I was right in the middle of recovering from the initial accident...  I was well enough to walk around and to want to get out, but I could only last for about two hours and it was a lot more obvious that I had trouble walking.

I have slowly gotten stronger and I have a new brace so it is easier these days.  I can wear pants again so my brace is not quite so obvious, and I limp a bit less, but people still look at me strangely.

Just because someone is walking with a cane or wearing a brace does not mean that they should be treated differently Please remember that, because it really does hurt.

It hurts quite a lot actually.


What really bothers me about the fact that people treated me differently (and still do!) is that I am, aside from the brace/cane/crutches, a fairly 'normal' looking person even after the accident.  And if I am being treated differently enough that I can feel it, then how much more is someone in a wheelchair going to feel it?  Or someone who has slurred speech?  And you do get used to it eventually, and find ways to deal with the really rude people, but my point is that you shouldn't have to.

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

one year

Guess what!!!  Today is the one year anniversary of this blog!  Craziness :)

This has been a year full of ups and downs for me.  One thing I think I can say with certainty though is that I have come a long way since my very first post...

I participated in some fun link ups:  The Sunday Social and The Nail Files....

I have listened to lots of very awesome music....

I have had some good days and some not so good...

I have found some quotes to live by...

And I have just enjoyed this journey that I am on....   Thank you so much for coming with me :)



Friday, 17 May 2013

Hellloooo!

So, I thought that today would be a good day to share some cool links from around the interwebs :)

22 amazing places.  Mind Blowing :)

 Some super cool art.

So excited to go see this movie next week! (I know it came out yesterday but we always wait for the crowds to die down a bit :))

Collage Fashion does a great Hautelinks post once a week :)

I really want to try this on my nails soon!

As you may or may not know I am going to be doing some traveling this summer and herpackinglist.com is my latest and greatest favourite packing tips website....  I really like that it is geared specifically to women :)

Although they are out of my price range I do occasionally love to look at the  United Nude shoes... These are my favourites.

This video of kids trying odd foods for the first time is so cute!

I desperately want to make some soft pretzels this summer!  Maybe using this recipe from A Beautiful Mess?

And finally, I think that this may be my summer song :)


Have a great weekend everyone!


Saturday, 11 May 2013

Life lately

Now that school is finally over I have been able to do more stuff that I just didn't have time for while school was going on like, take more pictures... So, this is what my life has been looking like: 

(I meant to get this post out a while ago so these pictures are a few weeks old, but I am just going to go with it :))

DIY bracelet... my attempt at a tutorial coming soon :)

lots of yummy healthy food...

 flowers!

 sitting in the sun...

studying for exams... (old obv :))


Hope you are having a great weekend!


Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Sunday, 5 May 2013

E

So, this is the last day of the challenge that I set myself to wear a necklace every day this week.  I think it went pretty well...  It did remind me of some of the necklaces that I have and I hope that I will get more use out of them in the future...  I am kind of glad that it is over though because it was hard to have to plan all my outfits everyday around the fact that I was going to wear a necklace :P



In other news I am starting my photography course tomorrow, which I am really excited about!  I hpe it goes well!

Hope you have a great week :)

Saturday, 4 May 2013

beads

My friend made me this necklace (and earrings) a few years ago :) 




Hope you are having a great weekend :)

Friday, 3 May 2013

tree

I got this necklace a few years ago on a camping trip...  I really, really like it :)



Also, I feel a bit gypped... I don't know about where you are but up here in northern Canada we just kind of skipped spring and went straight from winter into summer...  
Don't get me wrong, I love summer, but I din't really get a chance to wear any of my spring wardrobe...  It was too cold and now it is too hot :(

And on that cheerful note, I will see you tomorrow!

Thursday, 2 May 2013

antique

So... I may have kind of forgotten to actually wear this necklace all day... as in, it may have only hit my neck at 7pm... :P  But, I do really like how it looks which is  a part of the reason I am doing this...  Rediscovering the accessories that I already have :)


And of course, just to really shake things up, I am putting the picture of me wearing the necklace before the close up shot.... gasp*


Could we all maybe do a happy dance because tomorrow is Friday?  No?  Too soon in our relationship you say?  Ok, I can deal with that, but you should know that I am the queen of the happy dance... :)

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

long leather

I am feeling better!  And it looks like spring has finally sprung here in the north (I am even wearing shorts today! Shorts people!), so I could take my pictures outside :)  


Close up...


On :)

I love this necklace because it is basically just a silver ring on a leather tie which means that I can wear it any way I want... This is the first time I have worn it long like this but I am liking it :)