courage

I had a really hard physio today.  It is always hard, but today we pushed past the level of pain where I can (somewhat) control myself and moved into the level of pain where I just couldn't breathe.  The level of pain where I almost threw up.  I don't even think that I can put it into words... the ones I just wrote are far too small for what I went through today. Those words put that pain into some kind of a box that people can relate to and understand and I really, really hope that they can't because no one should ever have to go through that.

 I think that this part of things is harder than the actual getting hit by the car part because I had no control over that; with this it is a choice that I have to make everyday, that I am going to go in there and put myself through that pain. Over and over again.  Even when I can't I do it anyway because it is the only way I will ever get my knee back again.

Everyone keeps telling me how brave I am, and how tough I am, but I do not feel brave or tough. I feel like a small, frightened little girl and I just keep going because it is the only way.

So tomorrow morning I will get up and I will do it again.  Not because I am brave or tough or whatever, but because I have to.

what I'm listening to right now...

I am aware that this is an incredibly eclectic list of songs but I guess that is just me :)  

One Thing Remains by Jesus Culture, Skyscraper by Demi Lovato, and Breath of life by Florence and the Machine (one of my all time favourites :)).  Enjoy!

Sunday Social - Feb. 3

Linking up with Ashley and Neely for the Sunday Social!

1. If you were stuck on an island what are the two material items you would want to have?

A change of underwear and a shelf full of books (totally counts as one thing ;))

2. What are two TV shows you'd watch over and over?

Firefly and anything Star Trek

3. If your house was on fire what two things aside from family, pets, etc would you grab?
Laptop!  And journals/Bible.

4. What are your two most favorite articles of clothing?

I don't know that I really have two all time favourites...  But right now probably my brown boots and my black wool coat.

5. What two movies that you saw in the past year would you recommend to us?

V for Vendetta and The Avengers (so good!)

6. What are your two biggest guilty pleasures? 

Silly chick flicks and spa nights


Have a great Sunday everyone :)